Glossary

Short, neutral explanations of terms you may come across in the world of dating and relationships. The site is for adults only, and everything described here rests on one principle: the free consent of every person and respect for their boundaries.

Consent and safety

Boundaries: What a person is ready for and what they are not - in conversation, in the pace of getting to know each other and in intimacy. Everyone sets them for themselves and can change them. It's worth talking about boundaries openly, and accepting a "no" without arguing, persuading or resentment.
Catfishing: Pretending to be someone else using another person's photos or a made-up story. Warning signs include refusing a video call, excuses to avoid meeting and photos that look like a professional shoot. Profile verification and a reverse image search can help.
Consent: A voluntary, informed and current "yes" from every person involved in a given situation. Silence, lack of objection or previous dates are not consent, and a person heavily under the influence of alcohol or other substances cannot validly give it. Consent can be withdrawn at any time, without giving a reason.
Gaslighting: A form of manipulation that involves undermining someone's memory and feelings: "you're overreacting", "I never said that", "you're imagining things". Over time it leads to a loss of trust in oneself. In such a situation it's worth talking to someone you trust or a psychologist.
Green flag: A sign that someone is building the relationship in a healthy way: they listen, keep their word, respect your "no", talk openly about their expectations and have no problem with meeting in a public place.
Love bombing: Showering someone with excessive attention, gifts and declarations at the start of a relationship in order to quickly make them attached. It can be a prelude to control or fraud. Genuine interest doesn't need to rush and respects your pace.
Pressure and coerced consent: Persuading until the other person gives in, threatening to leave, emotional blackmail, guilt-tripping. A "yes" said under pressure is not voluntary. If you feel pressured, you have the right to end contact, block that person and report their profile.
Profile verification: Confirmation that the person in the photos exists and owns the account. On dejt.pl it involves sending a photo holding a piece of paper with a code, and verified profiles get a badge. The badge increases trust, but doesn't mean you can skip caution on a first date.
Red flag: A warning sign in someone's behavior: disregarding boundaries, lying, controlling, asking for money, sudden outbursts of anger. One red flag is already a reason to slow down, and several are a good reason to end the relationship.
Romance scam: A scammer builds a close relationship on a dating site or messenger, then asks for money - for medical treatment, a ticket, customs fees or a "sure-thing investment". Never send money to someone you know only from the internet. Keep the conversations, report the profile and, if you've lost money, notify the police and your bank.
Safe word: A word or gesture agreed in advance that stops everything immediately, with no questions and no hard feelings. It's useful in situations where an ordinary "stop" could be misread. It doesn't replace a conversation about consent and boundaries - it complements it.
Sextortion: Threatening to reveal private photos or conversations in order to extort money or more material. Don't pay and don't send anything else - paying rarely ends it. Keep the evidence, block the perpetrator, report the profile and notify the police.
Sharing intimate images without consent: Showing or forwarding someone's intimate images without their consent, including after a breakup and even if the image was received voluntarily. In Poland this is a criminal offense (Article 191a of the Polish Criminal Code). Consent to taking or sending a photo is not consent to sharing it.
Stealthing: Secretly removing or not using protection contrary to what was agreed with the other person. It is a violation of consent and exposes the partner to health risks. A person this has happened to can see a doctor and also seek legal or psychological help.

Dating and communication

Benching: Keeping someone "on the bench": staying in occasional contact with no intention of developing the relationship, in case other plans fall through. If you feel like a second choice, ask directly where you stand.
Blind date: A conversation or meeting with someone you haven't seen before. On dejt.pl it's a random chat in which photos and details stay hidden. For an in-person meeting, choose a public place and tell someone close to you about it.
Breadcrumbing: Dropping "breadcrumbs" of interest - occasional messages and likes that lead to nothing more. It keeps hope alive without giving anything in return. It helps to ask a simple question about meeting up and see whether actions follow words.
Flirting: A light, friendly play of words and gestures through which we show someone we like them. Good flirting is mutual: both people enjoy it, and it stops when one of them stops responding.
Ghosting: Suddenly cutting off contact without a word of explanation. It can be painful for the other person, so if possible it's better to write a short "thank you, I don't see a future for us here". The exception is when someone feels threatened - then blocking is the best option.
Match: When two people have liked each other. A match means mutual interest in chatting, but it is not a promise to meet or consent to anything more.
Orbiting: When someone has cut off contact but still views your profiles and leaves traces of activity. If it bothers you, you can block that person - blocking on dejt.pl is free.
Situationship: A relationship without a label or agreements: more than a friendship, but less than a relationship. It can be convenient as long as both people want the same thing. If expectations start to diverge, an honest conversation about what each of you is looking for helps.

Types of relationships

Ethical non-monogamy: A general term for relationships in which more than two people can be intimate with each other, and everyone involved knows about it and agrees to it. Honesty, shared rules and the consent of every party are key - this is what distinguishes it from cheating.
Friends with benefits (FWB): Friends who are also physically intimate but are not in a relationship. It's worth agreeing from the start on expectations, protection and what happens if one of you develops feelings.
Monogamy: A relationship model in which partners agree to romantic and sexual exclusivity. What exactly exclusivity means is worth agreeing on together, because different couples understand it a little differently.
One night stand (ONS): A one-time intimate encounter with no plans for anything further. The same rules apply as always: clear consent, protection, a sober assessment of the situation and a safe place that someone close to you knows about.
Open relationship: A couple who remain each other's primary relationship but, by mutual agreement, allow contact with other people. Both partners set the rules, and either of them can change them or withdraw their consent at any time.
Polyamory: Having more than one romantic relationship at the same time, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. It requires a lot of communication, care for each partner's time and feelings, and well-established rules.
Sexting: Exchanging sexually explicit messages between adults, with the consent of both parties. Remember that a photo you send can be copied: don't show your face or distinctive marks, and never send anything to someone who hasn't asked for it.
Swinging: A lifestyle of couples who, by mutual consent, meet other couples or individuals for social and intimate purposes. It is based on clear agreements before meeting and on everyone's right to say "no" at any moment.

Orientation and identity

Asexuality: The orientation of people who feel little or no sexual attraction. It doesn't rule out falling in love or a long-term relationship. An asexual person may seek closeness, and it's worth talking about expectations early on.
Bisexuality: An orientation in which attraction can involve people of more than one gender, not necessarily to the same degree. Bisexuality is not a transitional phase or indecision.
Coming out: Disclosing one's orientation or gender identity to other people. The decision about when and whom to tell belongs solely to that person. Disclosing it on someone else's behalf (outing) is a serious breach of trust and privacy.
Demisexuality: When attraction only appears after a strong emotional bond has formed. Such people usually need more time and feel comfortable with a partner who respects a slower pace.
Heterosexuality: An orientation in which attraction is directed toward people of the opposite sex. In dejt.pl search it follows from your gender and who you are looking for - you don't have to declare it anywhere.
Homosexuality: An orientation in which attraction is directed toward people of the same sex. Men often describe themselves as "gay" and women as "lesbian". On dejt.pl, discretion is supported by the private photo gallery and the option to hide your online status.
Non-binary: A term for people whose gender identity doesn't fit into the division into women and men. It's good practice to ask which pronouns someone uses and simply stick to them.
Pansexuality: An orientation in which the other person's gender doesn't determine whether attraction arises - what matters most is the person. Some people prefer this term, others describe themselves as bisexual.
Sexual orientation: A lasting pattern of which gender or genders someone feels emotionally or physically attracted to. Nobody is obliged to disclose or label it, and orientation is not chosen and cannot be "cured".
Transgender identity: When a person's gender identity differs from the sex assigned at birth. Gender identity says nothing about orientation. Questions about someone's body and transition are private - ask them only if the person brings up the topic themselves.

Health

Contraception: Methods of preventing pregnancy, both hormonal and non-hormonal. It's best to discuss the choice with a doctor. Most methods don't protect against infections, so it's worth talking about protection in advance and deciding together.
PrEP: Pre-exposure prophylaxis: medication taken by people without HIV that reduces the risk of HIV infection. It is used under medical supervision, with regular testing. It doesn't protect against other infections or pregnancy.
Sexually transmitted infections (STIs): A group of infections that often show no symptoms for a long time. Condoms and regular testing reduce the risk, especially when changing partners. It's worth knowing your results, and if you suspect an infection you should see a doctor and tell your partner.

Preferences

Aftercare: The time and attention partners give each other after an intense experience: talking, calm, checking how the other person feels. It's a good moment to say what felt good and what should be changed next time.
BDSM: An umbrella term for practices based on a consensual exchange of roles and power between adults. They rest on detailed agreements before meeting, clear consent, a safe word and the option to stop at any moment. Violence without consent is never BDSM.
Fetish: A strong interest in a particular object, material or situation as a source of arousal. In itself it isn't a problem. It's worth talking openly about such preferences and respecting that the other person may not share them.
Kink: An informal term for non-standard interests in the intimate sphere. They are private and perfectly fine, as long as they involve adults, are based on the clear consent of everyone involved and don't harm anyone.
Vanilla: An informal term for people and relationships with no interest in non-standard practices. It isn't a judgment: every level of openness is fine, and compatibility comes from an honest conversation about what each person wants.